


The one where Octavia has to pick up the pieces

by plakband111222



Series: When it started in space [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, I'm so sorry, Pregnancy, hopeless love, octavia is still so young, octavia never got caught
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5971210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plakband111222/pseuds/plakband111222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the inevitable has happend, Octavia is there for Bellamy when he needs her most, even though he beliefs he has to be strong for his sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one where Octavia has to pick up the pieces

**Author's Note:**

> hey, hey, this is a part 2 to the 'Please don't take it with you' serie, so I recommend you read that one first :)

There he was, sitting on the crooked chair that already had fixed a thousand times, staring into the great nothingness that the small window in his apartment provided.  
Every now and than he felt Octavia staring at him, wondering what was wrong with him. She hadn't actually tried talking to him.  
Living together in the small two chamber compartment for over sixteen years had thought her that it was best to leave him alone when he was in moods like this.  
The house wasn't big enough to run away from his terrible mood.

So she just kept quiet. 

He didn't know where his mother was, or if she even would be home that night.  
He heard the ruffling sounds of Octavia's sewing stop and her getting up to prepare the lousy diner he had bought for the two of them.  
Ever since he had become a guard he had been able to afford actual ingredients to cook their own dinner instead of the pre packed meals that tasted like a carbon box from the food court.  
The food he was able to buy still didn't taste good, but everything was better than the same terrible meal over and over again.  
He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. He didn't care about the food anymore. He didn't care about making a better life for Octavia on the ark anymore. Nothing would make a difference. Nothing would aver make sense again. 

Nothing he ever could do would ever matter. 

He felt his lips tremble as he thought about the this that had happened that day, and did everything he could to stop himself from crying. 

Octavia couldn't see him as weak as he was right now. She still had to be live that he could protect her. That she was safe with him and that de had a better future to look forward to. 

They didn't.

Clarke had only told him last night.  
The reason she had been locked up for. 

The ark was going to die. 

Within only a couple of months air support would fail and everybody on the ark would die. Her father had discovered the failure and wanted to go public with it, but the council was agains it. Her father was floated and she, because she wanted to help him was locked up in solitary so she wouldn't be able to tell anyone. 

As a guard he officially wasn't allowed to talk the her, but he never really wanted to be a guard anyway, so he never really cared much for those rules.  
They had been curled up on her tiny cot in her cell, marveling in feeling their naked body's pressed so closely to each other.  
When she started telling him the story, it started out as a whisper, confiding her biggest secret to him, she trusted him, loved him and let herself be enclosed in his big arms when the silent tears ran down her face as she told him why her father was murdered.  
He held her for hours, promising her that he would get her out of the sky box, promising that he would find a way for them to survive. He promised her that everything would be alright. 

Nothing was alright.

Because when walked down the market halls to buy the food he would eat together with Octavia before his shift. He heard shouting.  
He heard people yelling that they saw unusual activity from their windows. 

Something was wrong so very wrong. 

 

The dark haired lady from the council stepped up, saying that they could confirm nothing, but that the council was looking at what had happend right now. people kept bringing the sky box up, asking why they couldn't go in for visits anymore but the lady just kept smiling saying that they still didn’t know what had happend. 

The dread that had filled his stomach was all consuming. In every fibber of his being he had felt that something was wrong. 

So before he was even able to think about what he was doing, he was running to the skybox. Carrying the light grocery bag with him. 

A few of the guards where standing in the small skybox office laughing. Obviously having a great time.

'Guardsman Blake!' Shumway had said the moment he had seen that Bellamy was standing there.  
'Good that you are here, I was going to go to mecha to talk to you, but now that you are here, you have made it even easier for me' he smiled like he was actually a nice man. 

He wasn't. 

'Uhm yeah,' Bellamy had said, not being able to get anything else out of his throat.

'You won't have to come in for your shift tonight. Come tomorrow to the head quarters and you will be reassigned a new position, you have done well here, so your next position will be a lot better than the boring night shifts at the skybox. I will make sure of that.' 

The other guard nodded like they where all agreeing with him. The skybox where the least favorite guards position of almost every guard.

'Oh,' Shumway went on ‘Don't worry about the ration points, you still will be paid for tonight, not that it matters, I'm sure you will get paid a lot more at your next assignment.'

Bellamy had nodded his head, not knowing how to respond, all the guards where so happy, yet he couldn't shake the feeling something was terribly wrong.

'Why are we being reassigned?' He finally managed to say. Bellamy thought he sounded weird, but Shumway didn’t responded to it. Instead he just laughed. 

‘Floated! The lot of them.’ he said gleeful. The smile on his face so honest and pure. He was enjoying this moment. He liked the idea of never having to waste his time in the skybox again. 

Bellamy however, had done everything to stand up straight and pretending it didn’t botter him while on the inside he was a desperate mix between wanting to kill Shumway and get that disgusting smile off his face, and wanting to kill himself because the thought of having to live without Clarke for the rest of his life was unbearable. 

‘Fucking finally.’ Guardsman Brixton laughed. ‘I was saying just last week to my wife, they havent let any delinquent live after their trials for years now. If they are just going to kill them all,why don’t do it now, the sooner to get rid of them, the less oxygen the waste that might become very valuable for my grandkid one day.’

Shumway nodded, agreeing with his colleague. ‘Less wasted oxygen, food, clothes. It’s not like those kids where valuable anyway.’ 

 

‘Uhm, I should go cook for my mother’ Bellamy lied, he had to get out of this room, and he had to do it fast before he was going to fucking kill them all.

 

‘Oh, guardsman Blake,’ Shumway pointed his attention at him again. ‘This is strictly classified information, and you are under the guards oath. So not even your mother can know about this, kapisch?’ 

Bellamy had just nodded and turned around. 

He couldn’t even think anymore. 

The moment he returned to his apartment, he had ignored Octavia, put the chair in front of the window, and kept staring out of it. 

Clarke was dead. Clarke was dead. Clarke was dead. He kept hearing the words in his mind without even understanding what they meant anymore. 

Clarke was dead. Clarke was dead. 

He had promised to safe her. To get her out of that damned skybox and he had failed. 

The girl he was so desperately in love with was dead. 

The girl he was saving up to get married to was dead. 

The girl he suspected was pregnant with his child was dead. 

The girl he wanted to have a family with was dead.

The girl he wanted to make all her dreams come true was dead.

The girl he wanted to meet Octavia was dead.

The girl he wanted to have a future with was dead.

 

‘Bell’ Octavia first words that evening was what broke him out of his own thoughts. Gently she put a hand on his shoulder as he turned around to look at her. 

‘Dinner is ready’ her voice trembled and her eyes where filled up with unshed tears. 

‘Whats wrong’ Bellamy he huffed, much more demanding than he intended. He just couldn’t deal with anything else today. 

‘Nothing’ Octavia lied. ‘I was just telling you dinner is ready.’  
The enormous tremble in her voice told him she was lying. 

‘Just tell me.’ he demanded. Pinching the bridge of his nose. He fucking had to get himself together. He had to be there for his little sister. Because no matter what happend, she was still the most important person in universe. 

‘Something is wrong with you Bell,’ she whispered with a trembling lip. ‘Something is wrong with you and I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what is eating at you. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I did wrong.’

A tear slid down her face as Bellamy stood up quickly to pull her into a hug. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ he mumbled in her hair. ‘It has nothing to do with you.’ 

Gently he held her a bit away from him so he could look her in her eyes. ‘You know it is never your fault right?’

Octavia just nodded and looked away. 

‘Hey,’ he shook her a bit so she was looking at him again. ‘It’s not your fault okay.’

‘Why are you not getting ready for work right now?’  
Bellamy sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. What was he supposed to answer to that. 

‘Let’s eat’ was the sentence he decided upon. As he let Octavia go to get the food from the table. 

Octavia grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop walking and look at her. 

’Bellamy, please tell me. I’ll go nuts if you don’t.’ His sister whispered. 

Desperately he looked away, looking for something in the room to distract her with, but there was nothing. Nothing that would make Octavia focus on anything other than him. 

Slowly he turned around and slumped down on the ground, sitting with his back against the wall. As he expected, Octavia followed him and sat besides him. 

‘I got reassigned.’ he told his sister without looking at her. ‘I probably don’t have to work night shifts anymore, but I’ll know tomorrow when I hear my assignment.’ 

Octavia sighed, apparently relived at his answer. ‘That is good right? Maybe now I’ll see you more than only three hours a day, or you could finally take me to the unity day dance like you promised me last year. But then you got assigned to the skybox so I couldn’t go. This could be a good thing Bell.’

‘Yeah’ he mumbled. 

They sat like that for a wile in silence before he felt Octavia’s eyes staring into him again.  
He tried to ignore it as best as he could, he tried to pretend to himself that he could be strong for his sister. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking ‘screw you, I’m not afraid’ as loudly as he could. trying to get the mantra to take over his brain, trying to deny the fact that he was terrified of a life without Clarke and didn’t have a clue what to do with himself. 

Octavia still kept on staring at him. Wordlessly forcing him to tell her what was going on.  
She was stubborn like that. 

‘I fell in love,’ he finally gave in after what felt like an hour of Octavia just staring at him. 

He still couldn’t look at her, but he heard the tiny gasp that she made. 

‘Is that why you have been so happy the last couple of months?’ Octavia asked silently. Not wanting to discourage him from talking. 

‘Yeah’ He mumbled. 

‘Bell what happend? Didn’t she want to be with you?’ Octavia pressed on. 

‘No,’ he felt a tear finally roll down his face but tried to ignore that. ‘No that wasn’t it. She wanted to be with me, she was with me as often as she could.’ 

Octavia huffed, ‘Iewlll Bell, I didn’t need to know that.’

Bellamy grimaced as he finally looked at her ‘You asked.’

‘What happened Bell,’ she ignored his comeback. 

‘I think she got pregnant, she had the signs, she just never told me. And I didn’t wan’t to push her into telling me. But nobody has a stomach bug for that long when nobody else has it, and her boobs where bigger, and she smelled what you had cooked for dinner one day. And she complained about having back pain, and she never tolt me we had to wait a week to do, huh, stuff, together anymore. Those were all such clear signs. Mom had all the same things with you, although i never paid much attention to moms, well you know, I do know it is a sign though. And i just figured she would tell me when she was ready.’

‘I’m going to be an aunt?’ Octavia asked with big eyes, a smile spreading across her face. Ignoring most of the stuff he had said just now.  
‘Don’t worry Bell, I’m sure you will be a great dad. You raised me, and look how I turned out. Are you going to marry her, are you going to name the baby after me if she is a girl? I think you should seeing as i’ll be the only aunt in existen..’

‘You are not going to be an aunt O.’ He interrupted her. 

‘What?’ Octavia huffed annoyed. ‘You are not going to keep me a secret for my own niece are you?  
She is going to be a Blake, and we Blake’s stick up for each other. I can babysit, and I can braid her hair and teach her to sow.’

‘They floated her.’ He interrupted his sister again. Tears falling down his face freely now.  
‘They floated Clarke and everything she might had been carrying.’ He whispered. 

‘O Bell,’ Octavia gasped, grabbing him in an awkward hug as he tried to wipe the tears from his face. 

‘I was saving up to marry her.’ he sobbed as he leaned into Octavia’s shoulder.  
‘She was from Alpha, and a marriage license from Mecha to Alpha are so incredible expensive, so I’ve been saving up for months. From the first moment is saw her.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Octavia whispered, crying for her brothers pain. 

‘I loved her, so desperately much. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to breathe, how to live, how to go on with my life.’ 

‘I don’t know either, but I know I’ll be here to help you figure it out’ Octavia promised. 

He nodded as he hugged his sister back, he might have lost the love of his life, but he still had one girl he loved over, and he was going to do everything he could to make her survive the disasters that where coming it the not so far away future.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it and leave a review!


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